Lavender, the Perfect Toddler Oil

You should always approach essential oils with caution, especially on the skin.  Generally one of the safest essential oils for toddlers and small children is: Lavender Oil.  The great thing about Lavender Oil is its relaxation qualities.  Start with a single drop and make sure there are no adverse affects to the child before trying to increase the amount.  I've known one person in my entire lifetime who had an allergic reaction to lavender; it is not very common, but is possible.

Ways to use Lavender Essential Oils for small children and toddlers:
1) In the bath tub.  Add a couple drops of Lavender Oil to the bath tub to help the toddler relax before bed or nap time.  It also works great in the process of a detox for a small child/toddler if they had a bad vaccination reaction.
2)  On the pillow.  Add a couple drops of Lavender Oil to the toddler's pillow to aid with a good night's sleep.  I do this myself also to help me sleep.
3) On clothing.  Rub a few drops of Lavender Oil to a toddler's shirt.  I've seen this calm a very active toddler I used to care for on a regular basis.  It was one of the few things that stopped him from being a "wild boy," but it took time for it to kick in, usually about 30 to 45 minutes.  Sometimes I would rub a few extra drops if it didn't seem to be effective enough.  The time varies from child to child.  You can also add a few drops in the washing machine to make clothing smell great.

Those are some of the main uses, but some people are a little more creative.  For a different 2 year old I used to care for from time to time, his parents would light a Lavender candle that I made using pure therapeutic-grade essential oils for a brief period of time in his room before he napped.  His was an autistic child, and the scent from my candles were one of the few things that helped him go to sleep with ease.  Of course with candles you have to make sure you keep an eye on them and they are out of possible reach of small children and NEVER left alone in a room with a small child, especially a toddler, potential fire or burn hazard.  That is common sense though...

You're the Parent, You make Choices

While it is good to listen and take good advice, too often parents are bullied by others: by organizations, by activists, and even by doctors to make choices for their children that they are not comfortable with.  Don't let advice given always become your mandate.

When it comes to vaccinations, do your research, and make your choice.
When it comes to independent or co-sleeping, do your research and make your choice.
When it comes to breast-feeding or bottle-feeding, do your research and make your choice.
When it comes to circumcision vs uncircumcision, do your research and make your choice.
When it comes to natural vs synthetic medicines, do your research and make your choice.
When it comes to spanking vs non-spanking, do your research and make your choice.
When it comes to homeschool vs private school, do your research and make your choice.

My point is, there is not only one single method of parenting or one set of choices that works for every parent across the board.  Every child is different, and parenting styles vary from person to person.  If you are raising a brat, it is already obvious that you need to change a few things.  Listen to advice and make your own choice in the end.  Yes, this blog shares a lot of advice and opinions, but when it comes down to it, YOU are the parent.  Remember that.

Let Your "Yes" be "Yes" and Your "No" be "No"

Too many times these day you see children screaming and crying and getting their way despite the initial answer from their parent.  When you tell your child "no" and then your child throws a fit and you give in to their demands and change your "no" to either a "yes" or a compromise, then you are building up a spoiled-brat.  Yes, I said it.  Some parents want to be "cool" or make sure that their child "loves them," but instead they end up with a troublemaker who does not respect them.  Children disrespect their parents most often because parents allow their child to boss them around or call the shots.

My mother used to tell me, "you are a child, you don't have a choice."  If you stick with whatever you say then more likely will your child grow to respect you and listen to you.  There are cases in which you make a bad call or are "missing information" and there is reason to change your answer, but those should be exceptions and not the general rule.  Know your place, and have your child know his or her place if you want them to be a respectful person who respects authority, including you, rather than a broken fragile adult.

Remember, you are the adult, the boss, and he or she is the child living under your roof, your rules.  This goes both way, also keep your promises!  Let your child trust you and know your words are true.  If you think something may come up, let the child know in advance that plans may change.  I tell my little nephew, "I plan to take you somewhere fun, but if your bad we won't go.  If I get called into work we may have to plan another time," or, "I will get you a toy, but you have to be good or your not getting it."  There have been times that boy has been bad in the store after picking out a toy and I stuck with my word and put it back on the shelf and I let him cry.  I don't do this to be mean, but to teach a lesson BECAUSE I love him and show that my words are true.  There is a verse in the Holy Bible from the words of Yeshua of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) that says,

"But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No,’ for whatever is more than these is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37)

What better applicable advice than the words of the Messiah of Israel, the firstborn of all creation?  The context of the verse is about making oaths, but it can apply to all kinds of situations, especially parenting.  Amen.

Are you Crunchy? Crunchy Mom or Crunchy Dad...

Are you familiar with the term "Crunchy Mom?"  I wasn't, but I saw the term floating around online.  It refers to a mom who believes in and practices "natural-living."  A male version is referred to as a "crunchy dad."  There are other terms as well that describe those who are only partially "Crunchy" or not crunchy at all in terms of parenting.

There is:
Crunchy-Mom/Crunchy-Dad--- A mom or dad that believes in all-natural living such as:
-Natural Birth(possibly making capsules of and eating the placenta)*
-Breast Feeding
-Cloth Diapers
-Not Vaccinating
-Selective Circumcising*
-Home Schooling
-Organic Eating
-Co-Sleeping
-Holistic Doctors
-Natural Medicine

Silky Mom/Silky Dad(I'm not quite sure on the correct term for the dad)---  A mom or dad that believes in:
-Bottle Feeding
-Disposable Diapers
-Pro-Circumcision
-Pro-Vaccination
-Regular Doctors
-Pharmaceutical Medicine
-Non-Organic
-Public School
-"Cry-it-out" Parenting
-No Co-Sleeping

and,
Scrunchy Mom(I don't know what the male equivalent is called, I will call him "Logical" or "Balanced Dad," fill me in on the term in the comment section if you know it)--- A mom or Dad who believes in a mix of modern and natural living--- a mix of the things listed above.
May home-school, send to public school, private school, or charter school.


As the author of this blog, what are my views?
(Note that I am a Child-Caregiver who has played a part in raising various children through working at nurseries, babysitting, nannying, homeschooling, taking care of an unwanted child as if I were the parent, etc., but am not a dad yet myself.  I am merely a person with a lot of experience as a caregiver.  Although I lean more towards the views of the "Crunchy Dad" than a "Silky Dad," I would probably be closer to the category of "Scrunchy/Balanced" view.)

My view:
---Few or No Vaccinations.  I am not completely anti-vaccine, but would prefer green/safer vaccinations and am against certain vaccinations all together, while some of the more serious vaccinations are in the "maybe" category for me.  I will not have my child injected with fetal-cells or Mercury for sure, nor have the chickenpox vaccine for example.
---Absolutely Pro-Circumcision! No exception unless the baby has a unique health risk related to it, then I would get it done later on (unless there is some rare major health danger for that child throughout their life that I am currently unfamiliar with).  If that was the case I would pray about it and use discernment.  If I adopt a child past infancy who is not circumcised, the child will remain uncircumcised unless it is medically needed, he has cleanliness issues, or if the child wants it done.
---My wife will decide how she will give birth and if she wants to eat her placenta...
---Bottle or Breast Fed, however my wife would prefer
---Disposable or cloth diapers, both would be used depending on availability and convenience
---Holistic Doctors only
---Natural Medicine with a few exceptions, such as certain temporary medicines if the natural don't work.  A long-term pharmaceutical medicine is a very last resort, only considered in a severe situation
---Organic/Green-Eating at home and when available, but with exceptions from time to time.  We're going to enjoy some ice cream and pizza on special occasions.
---Co-Sleeping considered at young age, depending on the child's characteristics
---HomeSchool or Private School only, no public school for my kids.  Not an option.
---"Cry-it-out" but only to a certain extent.  My child will grow up in a house full of love and care, as well as discipline.